Aug. 30th, 1:50 am

"If you are born on this day"

how to make a poem appropriate for a birthday?
Nothing feels particularly appropriate, not like when I was 5 and there were
          goody bags
all I ever want is to be the center
          of attention, or maybe only the center
of your attention.
I smell so strongly tonight; how hard it was for me to be near you
but it was only after you left, and now when I smell me and remember what
          that means to you,
that I realize it must have been so hard for you to be near me too.

Something about you is lost, almost reduced to grocery bags and
          chopping.
Our private jokes about our love were a long time ago;
I have given you back your toys.
No, this is not an appropriate poem for a birthday
but nothing ever goes as it should. My selfishness was fed as best it could
          be, but I mostly settle for what I can get.
Somewhere I skinned my heart by accident.

Here is a real horoscope:
Now is the year to move into freedom, to learn
how to charge forward and want
to do things on my own; to do them;
now is the time to explore and become
myself.
Now, to accomplish myself.