8.16.99, midnite

*          *          *

He wrote:  
          the sexual
          experience was part
of growing up in my home
:  loving mother and naked
and willing body
          I somehow did not
think to cringe          my
own grievances tearing
          you silent
Cold breakfast a
          kiss on the forehead
red turtleneck sweater          
new
          to me only because I
have not known you
in winter months          un-
returned phone calls &
          messages          gives
me a little of my own silence
          back          but see
I am not occupied with this
          space in the same way
I have my obligations &
          take them with me in dreams
they are dinosaurs
compared to          our last
          encounters a
sudden emotional rift 4 nights
of love-making what
drifts          I have made
                    known
open book                    I
          laid waste my cage
you can't hurt me
easy come          easy
                              go

10 Directions:

Staring across the bar
at your cool exterior
the man behind the counter
          a visit
          I wanted to touch from a
          love-in-question
He maneuvered his mouth so
our lips would meet
                    I promised to slap
                    him if he got physical
He made tea and went upstairs
                    We talked about the surreal quality of
                    Mt. Rushmore
Spending the night in his
embrace as friend as rain
as fellow travelers
          a personal ad
          his poem that segued into
          questioning his ex-lovers poetry
          motivation
          that collapses mind
                    matures affection
And I loved him for his work
                    how he could
                    turn on a thought
I'm melting
where's the embrace

          
noon

acorn as seed
man as food for thought
he came dusty and sun-beaten
to my door as I reclined
on couch
          we fed him water and
cantaloupe          he said you look
                                                  happy
drove him to
gas station to fill
          can           to truck at side
          of road
slabs of concrete           a day's work
sun appearing sharp in sky
          ripe blackberries that
burst in your fingers
I wave purple-stained
          hand          as gassed up
truck departs          smile as
                                                  I turn
pleasant surprise