Fortune said my dearest wish
Would come true
Dearest wish, or did
They mean darkest fear?
The worst of worlds has
Come into being
Alone again
Failure again
Ultimately my fault again
Because I wasn't
What the packaging named
Not sane, rational
Able to process complex
Emotions in a single
Moment.
Unable to see past the past
Unable to see myself
Believe in myself
Or be the perfect woman
Who knows just what to do
In every situation

Not who you think
Answers to my name
My multiple names
Like so many parts of me
And yet I am
     Not
That fragmented
In real life—
The same me
Pays the bills
As loves the cats
Works, writes
Chants, cries
Screams, pleads
     Begs
Abjectly binges on
     Whole cans of Pringles
I can't blame
Other parts of me
It's all me
All bad
All the time
It never goes
Away, never
Stops
And you wonder
Where the girl you
Met is—
While she
Struggles to
Get through
Each day
Each hour
Being the very
Loathed thing
She can't
Bring herself to
Kill
Once and for all
No she
Soldiers on
Oblivious
And demented
Crying through the
Smile
Smiling
Through the rage
Because
She's bad
Bad to the bone
No faith
But no saint
Either
So she goes
On and on
And wishes
For that which will
Never come
For frogs are frogs
And kisses
     Cheap.